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I-Spy Mulder has developed a really annoying habit, one he wished he could break but he knows he can't. Every time he's out, whether he's on a grocery run or a case, his eyes are constantly roving, searching out faces in the shadows, in the crowds, in passing cars. Always looking for the one he knows is out there, the one who dogs his every move and seems to know where he's going before he figures it out himself. Yet the seeking isn't what irritates him most; it's what happens when he catches sight. Surely he shouldn't feel such damn relief... Later A good night's sleep in a comfortable bed had long ago become something he wouldn't risk. The catnaps he grabbed, in cars and deeply shadowed corners, were damnable inconveniences at best. They stole his time, precious time. Time when he should be watching, standing guard, taking care. And now food - its acquisition, its consumption, its remains - was becoming a constant irritant within his oystershell of watchful silence. Every time he left to grab a sandwich or some soup he returned convinced that something had gone wrong... Mulder needed him right where he was, keeping him safe. He could eat later. So many sins in such a short time Pride, that Mulder trusted him, again and again, even knowing some of what he'd done. Greed for those moments when it was just them together, closeted away from the rest of the world and its harsh truths. Envy for the time and the connections that others shared with Mulder, knowing he would never get that close. Anger and lust - from Mulder - those were always intertwined. Never was there one without the other. Gluttony. He gorged himself on glimpses, sounds and scents. Broke into his home to eat his food. His. Sloth - stolen moments curled tight around Mulder's pillow. Krycek's many sins. Oops! Krycek's hand worked frantically at his cock, the scent of Mulder on the pillow beneath his face helping him to immerse himself in fantasy. Here, in Mulder's bed, he could pretend that things between them had never gone wrong. With every breath he drew in scents and flavours of the man. He closed his eyes and wished that it was real. The distant sound of key in lock sank into his mind, and slipped into the illusion without a ripple. Mulder was home unexpectedly from his field trip to Seattle. He was heading to the bedroom and his lover... "Krycek?!" Not Yet Broken The site still ached, and often, but he'd learned to block it out. After all the pain he'd caused it seemed boorish to show his own, but somehow, some way, Mulder always knew. Whether he was lazing about in bed, or quietly reading, or cautiously washing dishes in the kitchen, his lover-enemy-friend-father-confessor always saw, and came to soothe, to make amends. Krycek knew an awful lot about the things that guilt could make a good man do. That's why he fought to keep his small frustrations to himself. They both were much too damaged to take on each other's scars. Power Games Palms pressed hard against rough brick wall, naked from the waist down. Pants and boxers tangled around one ankle. "I don't want this." "Of course you don't." A gentle nudge between his knees, and Mulder spreads his legs without pause. "I hate you." "I hate me too, Mulder." Slick fingers slide in far too easily, preparing the way for a blunter, aggressive invader. "Never... unh! Never forgive you..." "Neither will I." Then there's nothing but the slip-slide-slap of skin on skin. Twin sighs, and then Mulder is alone again, and weary. Waiting for the next round of Krycek's new game. Riding For A Fall He's happy. I don't think I've ever seen him happy before, not really. Oh, he can smile and laugh in all the right places, but there's always been an empty space behind the grin, a shadow behind his eyes. I wish I could share his happiness, but I know better. Sooner or later he'll come crashing back to earth when his new partner finally shows his true colours, and I'll be the one picking up the pieces. Whatever happened to the 'I never date my partners, it's a recipe for disaster' speech? We worked together for years and he never...  |