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The Princess and the Pea

"Spiiike, have you hidden something under the mattress? There's a lump and it won't let me go to sleep."

"Don't talk daft, Xan. Wriggle over here a bit and shut your yap, okay? We've got a busy night tomorrow and I need some soddin' rest."

So Xander wriggled, squirmed, and sighed when comfort wasn't found. He twitched and fidgeted, rolled and sighed some more.

"Spiiike..."

"Bloody hell, Xander, you're a vampire not some princess bint. Here, you take this side, I'll take yours."

They switched and snuggled, shared a sloppy kiss and closed their eyes. All was quiet until...

"Xaaaaaaaan..."



Puss in Boots

"The cat goes."

"No! Spike... Sire, please don't... She didn't mean to..."

Spike stood, feet bare, arms folded, a mingled look of disbelief and fury on his face.

"Xan, you know damn well she knows exactly what she's doing. She's a vicious little bitch with brains to spare. She's had it in for me since I banned her from our bedroom. I got sick of finding cat hair in my mouth when I woke up. I swear she tried to smother me in my sleep."

"But..."

"Xander, luv, she didn't pee in one Doc, she got them both. That's personal.



Goldilocks and The Three Bears

Buffy had been hunting them for much too long already, she'd been terrorising everyone they knew. So plans were made and traps were set and things were put in motion. All too soon they met up face to face.

"Somebody's been trying to stick a soul in me and make me suffer. She's not here, but never mind, you'll do."

"Somebody's been trying to hunt us down and steal my childe away. Know anything 'bout that, would you, Slayer?"

"Somebody's been screwing with my family and it's time to stop."

The fight was long and bloody, but victory was had.