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Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. No harm, no foul, no money made.
A/N1: Dedicated to Yindagger, for her birthday.
A/N2: The birthday girl opened her various 'verses to people wanting to write her a birthday fic, so I've dabbled in the Rockstar!Spike 'verse, which can be found here entitled 'Shame The Devil'. Hopefully I haven't made any unforgivable gaffes, but I don't think it's long enough to have made more than two or three, so here goes...
The letter spent two days locked in the top right hand drawer of Xander's desk before Spike confronted him about it.
"When were you going to tell me, Xander? When I was due in court? Were you gonna throw a blanket over my head and march me into the courtroom?"
Xander blinked himself awake, squinting confusedly at the vampire now bouncing on the foot of his bed.
"I found the letter, Xan. The one you were hiding? And why was that, huh? Didn't you think I deserved to know that someone had filed a lawsuit against me? Or did you think I wouldn't care? Did you think I was too much the rock star to give a damn about the little details like someone trying to sue me?"
The bouncing continued and Xander struggled to sit up.
"Spike. Spike! Stop bouncing and let me wake up. What did you...? Oh, the letter."
Xander dragged a hand through his hair and gathered his thoughts.
" Well, it wasn't a conversation I was looking forward to, and I've already got legal on it. Oh, and I called in the marker we have with that demon-owned detective agency in Vegas and they're gonna check out dates, hospital records, whether there was any magic involved." Xander paused. "That could be a problem. You can tell when someone uses magic around you, yeah? You know if someone tries to cast a spell on you, at least if they're right there with you?"
Spike nodded, but continued to bounce. "Can feel the mojo; tickles like static. Why?"
Xander ignored the question, thinking through what he'd been told.
"Has it happened recently? Anything in the last three years?"
The bouncing slowed, but didn't stop, and Spike absently began to pet Xander's thigh through the light blanket.
"Mojo, mojo... Right. Yeah. There was this one silly bint last month who tried to cast a love spell but it bounced off those wards Willow put in place last time I spoke to her. I must remember to thank her for that. D'you think she'd like emeralds?"
"Focus, Spike. Anything before that? Anything at all?"
Xander tried to ignore the lightly stroking hand that was working it's way up his leg towards his groin. He wasn't even sure if Spike was aware of what he was doing, but he wasn't about to call the vampire's attention to his wandering hand. Sure, it made concentrating tricky, but who was he to complain about getting petted by America's biggest rock star sex symbol? Hells, it was practically part of his job description.
"Nope. No mojo. There was one guy a while back who had a glamour in place to make him look..." Spike paused, looked across slyly, and grinned. "It made him look kinda like you, Pet."
"But apart from that, I've been a mojo-free zone. Does that make a difference?"
Tension he hadn't even realised was there seeped out of Xander's shoulders, and he slumped back against the pillows.
"Yeah, Spike that makes a difference. It means there's no way they can prove their case. But we still have problems."
One finger skimmed briefly over Xander's blanket-draped erection and he nearly swallowed his tongue.
"It's a paternity suit Spike, and they're gonna want blood tests."