Never a Slip Twixt Cup and Lip

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Nature's Nectar

"Just one sip. Go on... It won't kill you, Xander. It's not going to do anything to you. It's all natural stuff, no additives or chemicals, just pure nature in a mug."

Xander pulled a face as the mug was wafted under his nose.

"No, Spike, I'm not drinking it. Not a swallow, not a sip, not at all. Just the smell of it makes my stomach turn. And the colour? Ew! I don't care what you say, drinking that stuff isn't natural. I'm not going to do it and you can't make me."

"It's only tea, you great pillock."

Not All Demons Get Dusted

"I can't believe it just liquefied! Was it supposed to do that? Was there anything in any of Giles' books that said it would do that, because I'm pretty sure he never mentioned anything about it going from ten foot tall, eight foot wide snot green demon to ten foot tall, eight foot wide, snot green tidal wave of goo."

Xander turned to take his first look at Spike, and nearly choked on his tongue. Snot green goo coated the horrified vampire from head to toe.

"Thank you for protecting me, Spike. You're my hero. Spike? Spike! No, don't! Eeeeew!"

Emergency Supplies

"You know, Spike, there's a lot to be said for carrying emergency condoms."

Spike turned a stunned expression on his human lover.

"What are you on about, pet? Card-carrying member of the undead here, remember? No chance of spreading disease, or making anyone pregnant, though I'm sure you'd look very bonny in dungarees..."

Straightening up and turning, Xander slowly eased his boxers and cargo pants back into place and fumblingly tucked himself in.

"I know. But if we carried condoms, I wouldn't have to squelch all the way home whenever you get the irresistible urge to jump me in public."

Daily Cuppa

"You're so good to me, Spike. You know just what I need after a crappy day going over contracts. Thanks!"

Xander snatched up the mug and downed half the contents in three large gulps. The fourth went slower, giving him a chance to actually savour the perfectly sweetened coffee his lover always greeted him with at the end of a long day at work. Except it wasn't perfectly sweetened, and it certainly wasn't coffee. Horrified eyes locked onto Spike's as the kettle began to sing.

"You're a bit earlier than I expected, love. I was just having a quick snack..."